THE DEFINITIVE PENIS SIZE SURVEY
For millennium, men the world over have been obsessed with penis size. Sly jokes, furtive glances in the locker room and wildly exaggerated claims of endowment convincingly suggest that “penis envy” is a decidedly male trait. Now, from the hinterland of Canada, a nerdy, pseudo-science minded individual invites you to participate in “The Definitive Penis Size Survey”
which boldly dares to address the following perplexing questions:
What precisely is “average” Penis Size?
can penis size be correlated with other attributes?
are men of certain ethnic/racial groups more endowed than others?
to what extent are men satisfied with their size?
The author humbly reminds one and all that in order to arrive at valid answers to the above questions, it will be necessary to assume that all participants are acting in good faith by providing accurate and precise data. Results of the survey will be posted and up-dated on a regular basis on the results page.
It is highly advisable that you tag this page with a bookmark, print out a hard copy, perform the various measurements required in Sections and and then return to enter and submit your data.
Without further ado let’s begin “The Definitive Penis Size Survey”!
responses@sizesurvey.com“>
SECTION A
1) Age
2) Weight (taken naked)
3) Height
4) Waist measurement
5) Marital status
| single | cohabiting |
| married | divorced |
6) Sexual orientation
straight
gay
bisexual
7) Country of residence
8) State or Province (for American and Canadian participants)
9) Ethnic background of parents and grandparents
In filling out the following table, please be as specific as possible. Specify for example, “German” instead of “Caucasian”, “Chinese” instead of “Asian” etc. If you are Black, use the notation “Black (country)” (ex. Black (USA)). If you are uncertain about your ethnic origin, or if your lineage is highly mixed, simply enter your racial type (Caucasian, Asian or Black).
| FATHER | PATERNAL GRANDFATHER |
| PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER |
| MOTHER | MATERNAL GRANDFATHER |
| MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER |
10) At the time of my birth, my mother was years old and she had previously given birth to (enter number) children.
SECTION
Five of the following questions pertain to penis size and require the use of a tape measure. If you don’t have a tape measure you can improvise by using a strip of paper and marking off the various measurements with a pencil and determining their values later with a ruler. Please follow the directions exactly and be as accurate as possible. If you use a vacuum pump or a similar device, please take all measurement in your natural state. For precision purposes, all measurements in this section are to be given in millimeters. For example a length of 3.2 centimeters should be expressed as 32 millimeters.
11) Length of flaccid penis. (This measurement is to be taken in a standing position when your penis is at its shortest size. The tape measure is to be placed at the base of your penis and the “outer surface” is to be measured from the base to the tip of the head. If you are uncircumcised, disregard any overhanging foreskin.)
The length of my flaccid penis in millimeters is
12) Length of stretched flaccid penis. While still flaccid, grasp the head of your penis between your thumb and index finger and stretch it to its point of maximum distention without causing pain. Without releasing your grip, measure the distance from the base to the tip of the head. If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.
The length of my stretched flaccid penis in millimeters is
13) Length of erect penis. When you are at a maximum state of arousal, position your penis perpendicular to the rest of your body and measure the surface facing you if you are lying down or, if you are standing, the upper surface. Press your measuring device against your pubic bone and record the length from the base to the tip of your penis. If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.
The length of my erect penis in millimeters is
14) Maximum length of head of penis when erect. Measure the length from the base of the head to the tip of the head at its longest point when erect. If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.
The maximum length of the head of my erect penis in millimeters is
15) Maximum circumference of erect penis. (Please do not confuse circumference with diameter. Circumference can be defined as the distance around a circle.) Measure the circumference of your erect penis at the position of greatest girth. (If you are not sure about how to take this measurement, please refer to the illustration.)
The maximum circumference of my erect penis in millimeters is
16) Position of greatest girth.
| base | uniform |
| head | other (indicate distance from base) millimeters |
17) When erect, my penis is;
straight
straight but deviates to the left or right
bent
18) Circumcision status.
circumcised
uncircumcised
SECTION
The following questions will determine if there is any correlation between penis size and other bodily characteristics. As in Section all measurements are to be given in millimeters.
19) My shoe size is
20) My big toe is millimeters long.
21) My thumb (as measured from the palm surface from the tip of the thumb to the palmar crease) is millimeters long.
22) Bend your middle finger to your palm and mark the position of contact. Measure the distance between this mark and the tip of your middle finger in its normal, extended position. This distance is millimeters.
23) Measure the length of your nose by determining the distance between the bridge and tip. This distance is millimeters long.
24) Using a flexible measuring device such as a tape measure, strip of paper or a piece of string, measure the width of your nose as follows: Immediately after a normal exhalation and without flaring your nostrils, drape your measuring device over your nose at it’s widest point (your device will be in the shape of an inverted ). Mark the spot where the nostril begins on each side of your nose, remove your device, straighten it and measure the distance between the two marks. This distance is millimeters.
25) My natural hair color is (If your hair is gray, please state your original color).
26) With respect to my natural, unshaven state, my chest is;
smooth
moderately hairy
very hairy
SECTION
This section will attempt to determine if there is a correlation between penis size and certain personality traits (I did mention that I’m pseudo-science minded didn’t I?) In a certain sense the questions posed below are of a more personal nature than that of Section and if you are not comfortable about answering one or any of them, then don’t (but only for this section please).
27) I am employed as a .
28) I tend to internalize my feelings. Yes No
29) I possess strong self-confidence. Yes No
30) I have a hot temper. Yes No
31) I have assaulted someone in the past year. Yes No
32) I consider myself to be more of a leader than a follower. Yes No
33) I am a risk taker. Yes No
34) I have a high sex drive. Yes No
35) Sexually, I am more active than passive. Yes No
36) Within the past year I have had different sexual partners.
37) On average, I have alcoholic drinks per week.
38) I enjoy participating in competitive sports. Yes No
39) I am a body builder. Yes No
SECTION
This section is intended to determine the accuracy by which men gauge penis size. You may use whichever unit of measurement you are most familiar with - either inches or millimeters. The correct lengths will be provided at a later date on the results page. I would like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt thanks to the individuals who donated photos for this section. If you would like to be included, please read the instructions at the bottom of this page.
| SUBJECT A Height: 1.96m (6’5”) 40) I estimate that when erect, this subject’s penis is long. 41) Compared to my own flaccid penis, this subject’s penis is; shorter
about the same size
longer 42) I consider this individual’s endowment status to be; modest
average
well endowed |
| SUBJECT Height: 1.73m (5’8”) 43) I estimate this subject’s erect penis to be long. 44) Compared to my own erect penis, this subject’s penis is; shorter
about the same size
longer 45) I consider this individual’s endowment status to be; modest
average
well endowed |
SECTION
The following questions have been designed to assess subjective beliefs and attitudes towards penis size.
46) I consider an average erect penis size to be long and in circumference.
47) I consider myself to be;
well endowed
averagely endowed
modestly endowed
48) I consider men of my ethnic group to be;
| well endowed | modestly endowed |
| averagely endowed | no opinion |
49) With respect to my size I am;
content
neutral
not content
50) With respect to my circumcision status I am;
content
neutral
not content
51) I avoid situations in which my penis may be exposed to public scrutiny (by using a stall instead of a urinal, avoiding saunas etc.). Yes No
52) I avoid situations in which my penis may be exposed to scrutiny by male members of my family. Yes No
53) When I encounter a man I perceive to be well endowed in a non-sexual setting (e.g. a public shower), my initial reaction is one of;
| envy | awe/admiration | don’t know (have never had this experience) |
| intimidation | sexual arousal | other (please specify) |
| inadequacy | indifference | |
54) I consider penis size to be;
| very important | not very important |
| somewhat important | irrelevant |
I’d appreciate any comments or suggestions concerning this page.
For more effective promotional purposes, please indicate how you learned of this site;
link from another site (please specify)
search engine
newsgroup posting (please specify)
magazine article (please specify)
word of mouth
other (please specify)
Please note that your response to this questionnaire will be sent by -mail. However, all information transmitted, including your -mail address, will be kept in the strictest of confidence.
Whew! Congratulations - you’ve survived “The Definitive Penis Size Survey”. One hundred thousand thank yous! Remember to consult the results section to see how you measure up!
| MEASUREMENT VERIFICATION PROJECT In an attempt to determine the accuracy of data submitted thus far, a “Measurement Verification Project” (MVP) is being undertaken. If you have the means to take an erect measurement photo of yourself, either digitally or conventionally, and would like to participate, then please consult the MVP Homepage for more information. |
SECTION NEEDS YOUR HELP!
If you have an electronic means of photographing yourself and transmitting the image via -mail then I would like to hear from you. Section , introduced last year, is designed to test the accuracy with which men gauge penis size. I require two, original and anonymous photographs depicting the following:
1. one’s penis either flaccid (taken “head-on” while standing) or erect (taken in profile perpendicular to the rest of the body while standing) including the area between navel and mid thigh and;
2. a photo similar to the above but with the inclusion of a tape measure placed on the penis clearly indicating its length for verification purposes.
In keeping with the non-pornographic nature of my site, the pictures should appear as clinical as possible (e.g., one’s penis should be devoid of any ornamentation). I will also need to know the person’s height.
Although it may appear frivolous or even silly, this section will constitute an important part of the questionnaire as it will shed some light on male penile perception, a topic about which very little is known.
Richard Edwards
dickie@connection.com
Revised March 10, 2001 URL: http://www.sizesurvey.com/quest.html
Copyright © 1996-2001, The Definitive Penis Size Survey
THE DEFINITIVE PENIS SIZE SURVEY For millennium, men the world over have been obsessed with penis size. Sly jokes, furtive glances in the locker room and wildly exaggerated claims of endowment convincingly suggest that “penis envy” is a decidedly male trait. Now, from the hinterland of Canada, a ner …» more Dogmeat
Full Version | 
January 8, 1965: The Beach Boys enter the studio to record what will become their second number one hit, Help Me Rhonda. Well into the session, a drunken Murry Wilson (Brian, Carl and Dennis’ Dad) arrives and proceeds to commandeer the session with psychodrama, scat singing and weepy, abusive melodrama.
Both the Help Me Rhonda tapes and the Peter Bagge cartoons delve into some of Murry’s legendary abuse of Brian. On the tape, you can hear Brian deflating Murry (for a split second) by reminding him that Brian was deaf in one ear from one of Murry’s blows to his head. The famous eyeball removal is portrayed only in the cartoon (and in the Gaines book). Murry reportedly removed his glass eye and made Brian stare into his empty eye socket. That was when Murry was too busy to make Brian shit on a paper plate in front of the whole family.
Canadian Cancer Society - Surrey Relay for Life 2012
As someone who can pretty much do the 12 minute version verbatium thanks for the full 40 minutes. This will sit right next to my other faves: Buddy Rich, Barry White, Paul Anka, and of course Shaggy I mean Casey Kasem.
Plus those Pete Bagge cartoons are great saw them years ago, the Joe Jackson stuff is so right on the money.
Posted by: Bruce | October 10, 2005 at 09:29 PM
I almost forgot I’M A GENIUS TOO!!!!
Posted by: bruce | October 10, 2005 at 09:34 PM
Loosen up a bit, man. Syncopate it.
Posted by: Andy Baio | October 17, 2005 at 02:58 AM
Info posted -
Mar 18, 2006 11:35 AM
Subject: My new book
Body: I’m currently working on a Murry Wilson biography that is tentatively titled, “I’m a Genius, Too” that will include many revelations. Right now its looking like a release date of November, 2006.
Posted by: John | March 23, 2006 at 09:09 AM
Interesting - on a very similar vein - given this information you’ve just given - we’ve published this piece on Brian Wilson, Murray Wilson, Family dysfunction and schizophrenia.
http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/003852.html
Posted by: fred | August 30, 2006 at 03:42 PM
It’s Al Jardine singing the lead.
Posted by: Chris | August 30, 2006 at 05:28 PM
What’s the big deal about abuse? Anyone who has been in a recording studio has heard far worse from their own producer. And Murray is being an overprotective father like most- thinking he knows best.
Hey happens everyday everywhere. I don’t see the big deal. Now as far as the rest of the behind the scenes stories, well that’s different.That plate incident and slap is abuse.
Posted by: Pete | August 31, 2006 at 10:32 AM
Loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts, loosen up, sing from your hearts….
Posted by: E | November 19, 2006 at 02:49 PM
The track Murray Wilson sings the blues at www.myspace.com/theinhumanebeatbox may be of interest to anyone who appreciates the genius that is murray wilson.
Syncopate it
Posted by: sonofprent | May 30, 2007 at 01:19 PM
You always love the music you listened to going through your teens. I’m glad these guys stuck it out, they are an important part of my life.
Murry, I once heard bits of these horror stories and Brian’s deaf ear. I hope it’s not too hot where you are. You’re great too. A great Fool
Bill
Posted by: Dr Volt | July 25, 2007 at 11:23 AM
Wow, that is shocking, and props to Brian for not just smacking Murry. Nice dig at Jonny Rivers, too
Posted by: chuck | June 23, 2008 at 07:37 AM
Hello, it’s brilliant! Does anyone have this in a lossless file format by any chance? Thanks!
Posted by: Jack Gasoline | August 07, 2008 at 06:51 PM
Where does Brian blame his father for the hearing loss? I don’t hear that part at all.
Posted by: Nicholas | December 16, 2009 at 01:25 AM
From what I have heard and seen in past films of this session Murray was an out of control Dictator that couldn’t tell his own son Brian he loved him and that alone would have given more support than him trying to be a Manager to the boys.
Posted by: ralph smith | April 15, 2010 at 10:47 PM
Those poor boys. The world is lucky that they didn’t give up. Brian was one brave little guy.
Whether or not ‘everybody’ does things like Murray did certainly does NOT justify it. Ever.
Posted by: ottawangel | July 14, 2010 at 09:15 PM
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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference I’m A Genius, Too! The Murry Wilson Tapes:
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Murry Wilson (one-time manager of the Beach Boys and father of Brian, Dennis and Carl Wilson) lovingly interrupts Brian as he tries to record his classic hit song and tells Al to make Ronda sound sexy. [Read More]
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